I accidently clicked the wrong song on my itunes to play and that accidently clicked song happened to be butterfly lovers so i just let it be.

I completely realized how much I miss the SYO Italy trip :'(

I'm so busy these dayss..

Quite the tiring week 

Tuesday - Alg2Trig test was horribly UNBELIEVABLY hard. Mr. Lingle's tests are 3905302 times harder than Dr. Kett's so I thought that was just stupidly unfair. I was so close to crying (actually I was hahaha) because I literally didn't know anything, even though i studied! Without being modest at all - I probably got a B+ at maximum.

Wednesday - Day off for Hari Raya - I coudln't believe the holiday already came back!

Today - MoBio test was VERY successful in my opinion - cept I usually get Cs or something when I think I did well haha but no, i'm pretty sure I did well on this one including the short answer questions

And we had a pretty hard swim work out today. But I kept through it all. I love that feeling of dying hahaha that sounds awfully wrong, but after a hard work's day of training like that, i love how i feel so.. i dunno, 'proud' of myself.  i dont make up excuses about having cramps on my foot anymore which trust me - is GREAT improvement.

Had some mandatory concert to attend to so I came home around 9pm to start my homework.

Friday is the last day of Quarter 1. Which freaks me out because I had a 93 in ALg2Trig and if I got a C or so on that test - well that goes down to a B which means NO HONOROLL. Which is stupid.. cmon Carolyn -.-

But you have no idea how much relief comes through my life..

Especially going back to reading my comments from my grade 8 exam. I was probably smiling the whole 7 minutes as I was reading the judge's comments.

We have a week off after friday for Fall Break so I'm going to party, go out, and shop (because I haven't done any of these things since the last week of summer vacation). And i'm going to have another Bourne marathon haha

;)

Hahah Okay so it's been FOREVER Ago since I've been on here.

I've been so busy - and I still am. Highschool is getting very hard (it was actually never easy) but I'm getting used to it. 

Before I go on with anything else:

I GOT DISTINCTION ON MY GRADE 8 EXAM!!

I thought I did so horribly that I even cried (okay no just kidding, I didn't cry, but I COULD have). But apparently all that hard work/sweating/nerve-racking experience paid off.

I'm so glad that we're having our SYO break finally! This is the first free Saturday I've ever been in - no cello lesson (teacher is away), no SYO, no morning swim training, NOTHING. Cept a whole load of homework, so I can't hang out anyway. I still haven't gone to Orchard since summer which I personally find very sad - so do all my friends lol.

Yesterday night was the Homecoming Football game! and guess what?!

I didn't frickin go. Ugh I'm so mad. I had to help out with some strings thing at the Grand Hyatt and I would've said it was fun but it wasn't. Other than the satisfaction that we're getting money for this gig, the taxi fare was well over $25 because of peak period, and on the way back my taxi driver didn't know where he was going so I had to yell directions to him (he was half deaf).

There's so much craziness I'd love to type but haha - too bad, I still don't have the time.

BUt I can tell you - I had a Bourne Marathon last week and WOW IT WAS AMAZING WHOOT - I really think you guys should start watching if you haven't. We had all 3 dvds, but we never really watched them cept when i was like.. 10 years old and forgot about the first bourne movie.

Hope to write more often ;)

It's been a while since I've gone on blogspot haha

Tells you how busy I am now that i'm in High school..

I've been sleeping around 2 hours later than I have last year and I have twice as many tests and quizzes and grades that I hope I can raise up soon.

My grades are pretty good actually, cept English is right a 91.  I really have to do well on the upcoming impromptu writing tests or else I probably won't make an A by the end of the 1st quarter.  

My life is in a bit of a daze right now. I don't know how to explain why but it just is.

And dammit I think I need to start liking a guy haha it's been way too long and my life is so boring (don't others agree??) But I'm proud that I've been staying off of msn messenger more than last year.  Last year I think was crazy but now I'm always on my 'busy' status - just so I can chat with people about homework ahah. And i haven't seen the outside shopping world in a while :/ I even missed one of my best friend's birthday parties! (Because of swim practice).

Hopefully all that dazing will go away soon.

And when SYO has its huge exam break for you local students out there (GOOD LUCK!) - I'm going to be having cheesecake with my friends outside during the weekends, or have some sorta girl's night out haha.

It's the first day of September! RISE AND SHINEE

Not.

So the website for our grades finally started letting us log in and I seriously have to get a life. On a Friday afternoon I spend my time checking my grades (AND I was desperate). Not many grades in though. I've never missed school for the past couple of years, believe or not, but it suddenly became to weird looking at the Absence section with 3s and 1s and 2s. 

For Chinese 3, I was absent for an essay homework (really easy one) and so the teacher said I didn't have to make up for it because it was only worth 10 points or so. WTF she put in a 9/10. Stupid much? So I'm probably gonna talk to her. Hahah we took our first test and afterwards started watching KungFu Panda :)

MoBio was extremely hard for me til I actually started PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT I READ IN THE BOOK. So the quiz I didn't do very well - but the chapter test I found super super easy while a lot of people found it hard. So I hope/think I did well.. But then again I always do pretty poorly when I think I did a good job haha.

English is so much fun. I never though I'd say that in my lifetime but I guess I did. My teacher is great, he makes me nervous sometimes but he's really fun and funny and so good at teaching and we were reading Of Mice and Men by Steinbeck and it took place during the Great Depression.. so our teacher got out his guitar and played 2 songs for us, one of them including 'Route 66' hahaha AND he wasn't bad.

But on my first writing assignment I did pretty bad - one reason because I was at the hospital then. So I revised it and asked him if he can check that and put it in for a new grade and he said okay. So i got it back today and OMFG I GOT THE FRICKIN SAME GRADE. If I had the teacher I had last year, she would've said it was so much better - I know it. But Mr. Mabie is so much harder. He picks out the most detailed things that I would never have noticed which is sometimes good.. usually bad. So my grade = no improvement.

So far I think I'm doing alright :) I'm getting used to highschool and all so whoo.

This Saturday = My rescheduled Grade 8 Exam.. AAHHH (#)$&(#)%^!#)^% WIsh me luck :)

School's not that bad.

I thought i'd hate high school - and i did in the beginning

but homework isn't as boring all of a sudden

and i really don't mind taking mobio notes

i took my first chapter test in math yesterday

and i know i got that last word problem right :) at least i hope so.

because my mom got the same answer as me

and my mom - wow. she's smart. i honestly don't think there was anybody smarter than her in her class at college haha

so anyway

i'm going to enjoy my weekend

no YO practice

no swim (i'm off of exercising this week)

and i might go to the cliff

and have a dressed up dinner with my girlfriends

and we might go to a very nice restaurant

while peer council students are having an ass of a time

at the back to school dance. hah nobody's going but its manditory for peer council.

and whoever's going, i'm pretty sure they'll all be freshman.

not me. and my friends. and the lovely half of my grade.

but the other half

seniors hate us

juniors hate us

sophomores hate us

(in the exception of some of them who are so beautifully kind)

who'd want to go to a dance

full of freshman? :)

Hey everyone.

Thanks for the good lucks and the take cares - i'm definitely feeling a lot better.

So turns out me and my mom got dengue

so we got hospitalized friday 

news:

dengue fever affects your plalette levels (i dunno how to spell it so dont ask - theyre the cells that are the first ones to clog up any bleeding in ur body)

well yeah it lowers it so basically people who have it totally serious can die from bleeding too much. my mom was lowered by 10% or so but that was fine 

i was a bit more serious than her

got down to 52,000 while usually you should have 90-100,000

i got scared hahah but no i'm not dying

i'm on an IV chord though - its putting water in me

i was dehydrated for a while and they wanna keep it there

so i took a bunch of pills

rested

got rashes - did not rest well, the IV thing is in the way too

took sleeping pills lol

and finally got internet - there's no internet in the rooms which sucks but i'm out in the lounge now

and i have tons of homework to catch up on :(

beijing olympics are what make my day.

and nice try singapore - you still GOT a medal.

korea was 2nd in the beginning

but now we're like, 6th or so.

michael phelps is amazing - and so are the other record breakers

and i love watching all the sports

except i still dont get how that one sprint biking thing goes - no need to explain though, i dont really care anyway haha

my sister is bak from beijing and it seems like she has had THE adventure :)

and i feel bad because today is her birthday, so she spent out with dad and my brother. looks like they had a great dinner though. but no presents from us :( well.. other than my parents' and my grandparent's $$ which is think will be sufficient haha

i miss everybody in YO (the only ppl reading) and i hope i'll see ya guys soon!!

An update on my recent sickness:

so i was feeling horrible and such

til yesterday when my brother got home after school. i was able to start on my homework (finally) until i got tired and wanted to sleep which was around 10pm.. 

and this morning i couldn't manage to go to class again so i stayed at home until second period (was stil 5 or 10 minutes late) and i got through my classes okay. i ate lunch (i usually dont have an appetite at all so eating 8 spoonfulls of noodle is a big step for me)

and then i come home

and my mom says she's got rashes ..

which means. she most likely

has

Dengue.

Which may mean that I have dengue as well (same mosquito or something)

so we got our blood samples taken and they'll be calling us tomorrow to tell us what's up.

i dont have rashes yet but since my mom's already suffering, i don't think i'd mind having dengue either.. :(

it's nothing serious, it can obviously be cured (only people with heart disease or other symptoms who get dengue - it may be fatal)

but it's so sad watching my mom try to hide how much the rashes itch and all.

hope everything gets better soon.

i'm sick.

horribly sick.

sunday - fever and i was sure i got it from my mom cuz she had the flu

monday - a tid bit better, good enough to go to school (and then die at home)

today? after half of first period i went to the nurse and didn't go back to class again, my mom picked me up and we went to the woodgrove family doctors. 

and guess what?

HE SAID I MIGHT HAVE DENGUE FEVER.

OMFG $^&**@#&*!@

but he's not sure because dengue fever - you have to have a fever constantly for 5 days and rashes appear (on the 4th of 5th day) and we can only make sure if i have a blood sample (on the 4th or 5th day) so this means either im going to get better.

or it means im going to be staying in the hospital after my 4th of 5th day.

:'( help mee

Went to open house at 9;15am - got my schedule and introduced myself to the very teachers that will make my freshman year miserable.

i got to see a lot of my old friends and such.

carrie wanted to meet me and amy in front of the highschool steps at 9am so we can see our teachers together - and carrie's the one who overslept - by an hour. and amy called the wrong number because someone told her that i was sleeping at 9;10 when i was waiting for the both of them, calling them like crazy when both of them wouldn't pick up. so i hung out with spencer for 40 minutes til amy finally showed up ><

and my schedule.. it has bunches of stars on it - stars on the classes that are adv. 

Molecular Bio, Chinese 3, Algebra II Trig, Studio Art, and String Ensemble.

I'm going to die. They're all such hard classes, I dont even know why i agreed with my teachers' suggestions. 

My teachers seem nice though. I think. I can't really tell lol

So far I only know that bridget, jimmy, and lauren are in the same free period as me. Thank God. and Jimmy's in the same Chinese as me. Thank God. 

I don't know anybody in my Alg 2 Trig yet, which sucks because if i'm left alone in that class, I'm not only going to die with failing grades, i'm going to be a LONER with sophomores and juniors.

Had cello lesson today - I'm pretty proud haha I've perfected my scales so far, still have to work on my pieces. and I'm going to fail my sight reading hahaha

so yeah. 

i'm going to die. ;)

Ciaoo

if you haven't already read my msn screen name

or my facebook status - i'll tell you here (again)

I SURVIVED MY LAST SWIM TRAINING AT OCC

And damn it was hard because today we used flippers - cept I couldn't use mine because i got really bad blisters (if you haven't already heard haha) but I guess I was going pretty fast for a person without flippers XD Okay i sound cocky now

But i'm so happy and relieved

and surprisingly a bit sad? i've worked so hard this summer, i've focused on swimming so much and i'm really proud of all the hard times i've been through (sounds pretty emotional just for swim practice haha). I've improved my times a lot and i've gotten closer with people, and i guess i'm just more confident? haha - stop making fun of me

tomorrow is singapore national day.. i don't think i'll be doing anything special. ive got some invites to hang out with syo peeps but it seems like i might not be able to make it to any of them :( maybe the CLIFF will be available for a little while though..? 

lol.. i'm never available. i go to someone's dinner party - i'm the first one to leave. go to any party - first one to leave. going to singfest - gotta leave early. everything early early early. hahaha.. i shouldnt be laughing cuz thats just sad. :S

Have a great national day

Ciao :)

School starts next week on Monday, August 11th. 

And I'm going to go into High school

And I might be trampled on and get food thrown on my head from the 2nd floor

being a freshman. But I think it's better than staying at home.. forever.

Me and Weile found a real neat spot 

for 'gal talk' haha.. sort of. You know in movies, when this character gets so stressed out with her parents or her boyfriend or whatever the heck she's pissed at, she stomps outside and she goes to her little spot on a grass hill by a pond or some lake where there's this nice big tree with a swing tied on to it, and she sees the sun slowly set while she reads a book or writes in her diary or journal..

Okay so the place WE found - is nothing like that.. hahahaha

and i can't walk there, I have to take the stupid mrt - 4 stops or so

BUT - it's not bad. it's this pond place with cliffs everywhere (i know, in SINGAPORE?!) and it might look a bit fake haha, but it's pretty nice and relaxing. 

I want to go back there before Monstrous Monday..

Ciao

i've been meaning to blog this

but i didn't really find the right time to.. 'til now.

i just wanted to tell everybody (or nobody) that I have been 

in the front

in the middle

in the end.

I've been first, average, and last.

I've been everywhere.. basically. Not in a haunting sort of way but in class, in music, in sports - and uh, I say this because swimming was the first thing that came in mind. I've gotten a gold medal in some swim competition, I've been average, and I've been last in practice - very last - very very very slowly last. And that happened today - i was very last. very slowly last.

Which really frustrates me because all the fastest swimmers are so good (obviously). The only trouble they have during swim practice is trying to beat their times.  I've had trouble just finishing the set. My muscles are always aching and I'm too embarrassed to ever come back to practice and swim again - with the same very very fastly first people (but yeah, i don't really have a choice but to go)

and i'm always wondering if i can ever be the best (at anything) again because i feel like that just totally skipped out in my life cuz everything i do i feel like ^&*(#$(*#@%. 

and i'm not surprised if anybody (or nobody) doesn't get a clue what i'm saying.

-still hoping everybody's life is better than mine.

ciao

since i'm behind on blogging on some 'grand' things that happened, i'll get right to it.

wednesday 6;30pm - 

original coach is still not here, so coach damien continues to sub.

so i get there, and we do sprints. 45623789235 x 50meter sprints. and i'm dying. i've never killed myself like that in swimming, honestly. he shouted at me a few times and i've never had him or my other coach shout at me like that ever. 

and i mean shout at me like THAT. ever.

i wont go through the details of every 50 meter i swam because there's too much to tell. 

so i get out of the pool after practice is over and we ended at 9;30 when we usually end 9;10pm, so all the pool lights were out even after we were continuing our swim.

and i don't say a word to my parents. we just walk to the car and i don't say ANYTHING cuz dammit i am exhausted and i was |--this--| close to crying.

so in the car on the way back home i'm usually sitting up and talking endlessly with my parents. that day lied down and i faced my back towards them and tears are rapidly coming out and i can't really do anything about it because they don't know and they won't know that i'm crying.

so we get out of the car and there's still no word coming out of my mouth.

i get online and i look for a specific friend and see if he's online.

he's not because he's spending his summer in the states.

so i keep crying and i dont really know what to do. oh and i locked my door.

so my dad knocks on my door and he asks me to unlock it.

he keeps asking why i locked the door because i never lock the door.

and i only opened the door enough so he would only see my face. and then i like

BURST into tears.

like

BURST. i didn't even know lolll

and then i sorta.. yeah. 

so that night i was zoned out (now that i realize)

and weird thing is, i rarely ever cry. i dont really cry. 

but i'm a pretty good crier when it comes to sad movies.

and that tells me that i'm pretty damn stressed. hahaha

so i couldn't sleep that night because my body was aching.

i couldn't/can't straighten my arms 

and i couldn't/can't raise them up

and that's about all you do in swimming other than breathing, kicking, rotating, and dying.

and well, yeah my whole upper body is aching.

i guess it's because i didn't train this hard and properly since i came back from italy.

thursday - got my hair straightened, watched a movie for free tickets.

today - died (once again), but not as bad as wednesday. my arms are still sore and they hurt like mother %^&*()#%!@ when i did my warm up. we do 400m IM which means butterfly and you can't expect someone to just get used to swimming butterfly when they can't straighten their frickin arms. but i didn't really have a choice right?

oh and i got 3 blisters. more like scars from my flippers, i forgot to bring tape to wrap around my foot. 

i have such a lovely summer..

but heads up - i only have 1 more week of dying til high school starts (no swimming at OCC). but then again, high school swim season starts beginning of the year so i'm still gonna die. i'll just die a bit later :)

hope everyone's having a better life than mine.

holy crap i cant feel my arms yet. theyre still numb

from swim practice.

we did stretch courts today and coach cao was in bali, so damien coached us. and holy #$%^&*(

for once in my life i wish coach cao came back

we did 200 pulls for each stroke

and he frickin measured how far away we had to stand and pull those stupid things.

and i was sweating like i have never sweated before.

and so now i still cant feel my arms. they feel really weird and i cant control them.

they literally feel like jelly. 

my nap

i took a nap at around 4;30 til 5 

and i just remembered my dream, and it's been sorta bothering me -.-

i had some sorta rehearsal or concert. apparently with the SYO because i saw some SYO members there, and after rehearsal i dropped all my scores accidently, and i couldn't pick them up because i had my cello on my other hand. 

(i seriously have never had a dream about SYO or my cello so don't think i'm a music freak)

and then i kept trying to pick them up, but my hands wouldn't move and they wouldn't pick the stupid papers up! 

then 2 syo people appeared and i don't remember if they tried to help me or not, but i saw myself faint. so, i saw myself faint, but it wasn't ME who fainted, get it? ... no?

but then afterwards i 'woke up' in my room and this part i thought wasn't a dream. it was 9pm already and i was telling myself 'holy crap i slept for a frickin long time and nobody woke me up!' and i could hear my parents saying 'it's already 9pm! we have to eat!' 

and then i was putting my cello away when something happened - i dun remember.

but suddenly my cello was like.. it wasn't broken. it was sorta like, shrinking. haha sounds gay i know, but it was. and then i screamed for help, and i forget who was in the room with me but we tried to glue my cello back together cuz there were some missing parts too..

and i kept telling the person 'shouldn't i tell my mom first?' and i was thinking to myself 'the cello sound will be different if we keep glueing things together'

and i fell to the floor and started crying. weeping. bawling, i dont know if i should add a 'hahaha' to that because i really didn't find it funny (in the dream) and i was like, telling myself how much money my parents wasted - i'm wise and deep in my dreams too apparently.

and then i woke up. at 5;05pm (i checked the clock cuz the dream freaked me out)

so yeah.

the dream

really 

really 

bothered me.

practicee

I'm so tired from today's morning training.

my coach made us run for 30 minutes instead of the usual 15 and my legs are literally dead.

and she made us rotate our arms for an hour because we didnt get it right.

then i realized how not ready i am for my exam after my cello lesson, so i have to practice a whole lot. and to motivate me i bought a top from mango that was on sale :) well, i hope it motivates me. it's been killing me because everytime my parents are away or something while i'm practicing cello, i get on the computer and say that i've finished practicing when they come back. i have to stop and i keep telling that to myself everyday but it doesnt really work. 

so i've decided - tomorrow i'm going to start PRACTICING. real practice. like, 2-hours-straight-without-any-break practice. i'm not going to go downstairs and find food to pig out int he middle. i'm GOING TO FRICKIN PRACTICE.

it might not work actually, but it's worth a try..?

haha funny im typing all this crap while i'm listening to butterfly lovers (don't ask) when i should be doing my vocab. 

Hello

I feel different

Starting from Saturday morning when I came back from Italy

Actually, no i felt different since the day I went to Italy.

New friends

New place

New SNYO 

And almost a new accent! But no- just kidding

I feel different 

In a very good way

But I don't talk about it with SAS people. Haha it's gay i say this but they wouldn't really understand.

I'm CAROLYN

I live in Singapore

Would love to hang out with you - but i'm a busy person

i swim (a lot), i play the cello, im in the singapore national youth orchestra, i'm planning to major in art, i have a chinese tutor, and i eat (a lot).

i'm very athletic, i love sports

i love music

i'm pretty outgoing i guess

i can't help gossiping - but thats to everyone

my summer break currently sucks right now. after my breathtaking trip to italy with SNYO, my summer is practically over.

i'm smart - not because albert einstein's my dad. i dont know how many weeks there are in a year. i'm the kind of person who gets a paper and pencil and writes number down for however many seconds, minutes, hours, or days it takes to figure the answer out.

yeah - it means i'm a hard worker.

i get good grades

and i'm very competitive at school- i feel like i'm flunking if i get a B+, and with sports, art, and everything else that i do

which also takes me to - i'm pretty self conscious

i tell my friends not to care what everybody else thinks

but that's not always the case for me.

i like to think that i'm the different girl.

ya know, in movies, they have cheerleaders, geeks, emos, bullies, but there's this 1 girl that is different and gets prince charming (who's also different).

but everybody, including me, knows that i'm not.

i'm pretty much like every other girl (sorry to burst your bubble)

i dont drink, smoke, do illegal drugs. i'm still young

and i'm definitely scared for highschool this august.

i'm looking forward to a lot of things - studio art, chinese 3, snyo rehearsals, IASAS swim

but i'm not looking forward to a whole lot more things. too many to name.

not that anybody would read this blog but -

ciao :)

-carolyn