since i'm behind on blogging on some 'grand' things that happened, i'll get right to it.

wednesday 6;30pm - 

original coach is still not here, so coach damien continues to sub.

so i get there, and we do sprints. 45623789235 x 50meter sprints. and i'm dying. i've never killed myself like that in swimming, honestly. he shouted at me a few times and i've never had him or my other coach shout at me like that ever. 

and i mean shout at me like THAT. ever.

i wont go through the details of every 50 meter i swam because there's too much to tell. 

so i get out of the pool after practice is over and we ended at 9;30 when we usually end 9;10pm, so all the pool lights were out even after we were continuing our swim.

and i don't say a word to my parents. we just walk to the car and i don't say ANYTHING cuz dammit i am exhausted and i was |--this--| close to crying.

so in the car on the way back home i'm usually sitting up and talking endlessly with my parents. that day lied down and i faced my back towards them and tears are rapidly coming out and i can't really do anything about it because they don't know and they won't know that i'm crying.

so we get out of the car and there's still no word coming out of my mouth.

i get online and i look for a specific friend and see if he's online.

he's not because he's spending his summer in the states.

so i keep crying and i dont really know what to do. oh and i locked my door.

so my dad knocks on my door and he asks me to unlock it.

he keeps asking why i locked the door because i never lock the door.

and i only opened the door enough so he would only see my face. and then i like

BURST into tears.

like

BURST. i didn't even know lolll

and then i sorta.. yeah. 

so that night i was zoned out (now that i realize)

and weird thing is, i rarely ever cry. i dont really cry. 

but i'm a pretty good crier when it comes to sad movies.

and that tells me that i'm pretty damn stressed. hahaha

so i couldn't sleep that night because my body was aching.

i couldn't/can't straighten my arms 

and i couldn't/can't raise them up

and that's about all you do in swimming other than breathing, kicking, rotating, and dying.

and well, yeah my whole upper body is aching.

i guess it's because i didn't train this hard and properly since i came back from italy.

thursday - got my hair straightened, watched a movie for free tickets.

today - died (once again), but not as bad as wednesday. my arms are still sore and they hurt like mother %^&*()#%!@ when i did my warm up. we do 400m IM which means butterfly and you can't expect someone to just get used to swimming butterfly when they can't straighten their frickin arms. but i didn't really have a choice right?

oh and i got 3 blisters. more like scars from my flippers, i forgot to bring tape to wrap around my foot. 

i have such a lovely summer..

but heads up - i only have 1 more week of dying til high school starts (no swimming at OCC). but then again, high school swim season starts beginning of the year so i'm still gonna die. i'll just die a bit later :)

hope everyone's having a better life than mine.